American cartoonist (1957- )
The difference between Christianity and Islam is that some people think a guy walked on water and other people think a horse can fly.
SCOTT ADAMS
Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!
I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
SCOTT ADAMS
Dilbert, Apr. 25, 2014
Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil. But you still don't want to get any on you.
SCOTT ADAMS
attributed, The Little Book of Humorous Quotes
If you work in the city long enough, it begins to deal with you on a personal level. Streets reveal their moods. Sometimes the signal light loves you. Sometimes they fight you. When you're hunting for a new building, you hope the city is on your side. You have to use a little bit of thinking--you might call it the process of elimination--and you need a little bit of instinct, but not too much of either. If you think too hard, you overshoot your target and end up at the Pier or the Tenderloin. If you relax and let the city help, the destination does all the work for you.
SCOTT ADAMS
God's Debris: A Thought Experiment
Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
SCOTT ADAMS
Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
SCOTT ADAMS
Dilbert Gives You the Business