American author (1842-1914)
Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
For nearly all that is good in our American civilization we are indebted to the Old World; the errors and mischiefs are of our own creation.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A Cynic Looks at Life
Civilization can not be put into a ship and carried across an ocean.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A Cynic Looks at Life
DANCE, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
When the young die and the old live, nature's machinery is working with the friction that we name grief.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Year, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"The Night-Doings at Deadman's"
Adam probably regarded Eve as the woman of his choice, and exacted a certain gratitude for the distinction of his preference.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
SAINT, n. A dead sinner, revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
COWARD, n. One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary