quotations about bowling
There's something very noble about the bowling shoe. It has very little pretense, and it's kind of naughty. You have to share them with a bunch of other people, which is so kinky in a way that I like. What other shoes would you actively share with other people? If anyone says that American socialism isn't possible, point them toward the bowling shoe.
HARI NEF
"Hari Nef Reviews 7 of This Season's Hottest Shoes, and Then Some", Interview Magazine, September 18, 2018
You can never find the right bowling ball. This one's too heavy. This one's good but its pink!
JIM GAFFIGAN
stand-up routine
I miss the final round. I don't miss qualifying. I don't miss doing my laundry on the Tour. I don't miss the 800 mile drives, but with eight games to go or four games to go, being in the top ten with butterflies in your stomach, wondering if you're going to come through or not ... I'll always miss that.
MARK BAKER
"An Interview with a Pro Bowler Turned Coach", Bowling This Month, March 2012
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.
DON CARTER
Golf Journal, 1985
I still remember when bowling was just fun and it was to keep me out of my parents' hair.
JASON BELMONTE
interview, Bowling Digital, November 11, 2009
You never want to be the worst bowler of the group--because then everyone treats you like you have cancer. "You can do it! We're praying for you." The advice starts. "Use a heavier ball." "Keep your arm straight." "You should get a vasectomy." If you're really bad at bowling like me, they'll ask if you want the bumpers up. Not that bowling is that complex anyway. "You want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins. Why don't you take this coloring book and sit in the corner?"
JIM GAFFIGAN
stand-up routine
I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time, Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it, son!"
JIM GAFFIGAN
stand-up routine
That's the first thing they teach you in bowling, by the way. Don't press the ball against your nose. The other one is don't lick the pins.
DAVID LETTERMAN
Late Night with David Letterman
When reactive bowling balls came out, I said that these should not be allowed in professional bowling. This is going to ruin bowling, and look what it's done to bowling. I mean, when you have to loft the left gutter, there's something wrong with that. That's why I believe that when reactive resin balls came out, they should not have been allowed at the professional level. They are amateur-level bowling balls. They allow you to miss two arrows to the right and still get the ball to come back and strike. Back in the day when we were using urethane, plastic, and rubber balls, you couldn't miss two arrows to the right and still strike. Reactive resin balls should have never been allowed in bowling.
PETE WEBER
"Insights, tips, and tales from one of bowling's leading GOAT candidates", Bowling This Month
The bowling alley is the poor man's country club.
SANFORD HANSELL
attributed, The Tao of the Dude: Awesome Insights of Deep Dudes from Lao Tzu to Lebowski
I don't think I've ever bowled as good as I could have bowled. Bowling is a game of mistakes. Generally, whoever makes the fewest comes out the best.
EARL ANTHONY
Bowlers Journal, November 1993
Bowling is essentially not hard. If it were hard, it wouldn't be the No. 1 participatory sport in lazy America.
ELIZABETH GILBERT
"Roll With It", Spin Magazine, September 1997
The life of a professional bowler may seem glamorous--first-class hotels, fat endorsement deals, groupies ... oops, wrong sport. Actually, the tour's a grind, the pay's lousy, and even golfers get more action.
ELIZABETH GILBERT
"Roll With It", Spin Magazine, September 1997
Bowling is so retro, it's post-modern.
BLAINE HARDEN
"Meeting for Martinis in Manhattan? See You at the Bowling Alley", The Washington Post, December 18, 1997
And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god
The smell of rosin gets my high, kiss those f***in' pins goodbye!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling... bowling... god
STEPHEN LYNCH
"Bowling Song"
In bowling and in life, if a person made the spares, the strikes would take care of themselves.
STEPHEN KING (as Richard Bachman)
Blaze
I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes.
KATHLEEN MADIGAN
stand-up routine
Bowling is an IQ test. The lane asks, "Can you solve me?"
DEAN HINITZ
Bowling Psychology
Bowling is a sport for people who have talent to spare.
ANONYMOUS
Bowling is not just about throwing stones. It's so much more. In a time of Facebook and Instagram and Tweets, our bowling league has become an appointment, a weekly obligation of face time with friends. It's a part of the week that we all look forward to. To connect, crack jokes, a few drinks, some good stories and some commiserating. And when the competition is good and your team steps up to the plate to overcome a big handicap deficit and you're holding your breath as your anchor needs a strike in the tenth frame to win it, that moment when the crowd is all standing around, waiting to see the results, that moment is when I'm proud of the league we built. It doesn't matter if that bowler gets the strike or doesn't get the strike. It's the fact that all of these people are so engaged, so invested in that moment, together, as a group.
BOB OEDY
The Punk Rock Las Vegas Survival Guide