Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to lose some of its Humor, and if it keeps on happening, why the entire laughter kinder Fades out of it.
WILL ROGERS, "Warning to Jokers: Lay off the Prince," The Illiterate Digest
The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover didn’t know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow's hands.
WILL ROGERS, St. Petersburg Times, Nov. 26, 1932
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS, attributed, Words of Wisdom
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS, The Vocational Guidance Quarterly, 1960
There ain't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.
WILL ROGERS, attributed, Will Rogers Speaks
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
WILL ROGERS, attributed, The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners
Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
WILL ROGERS, attributed, The Great Entertainers
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS, attributed, Vaudeville Old & New
The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich.
WILL ROGERS, attributed, 20,000 Quips & Quotes
Any time you tangle with an Arkansas hillbilly or hillbillyess, you are going to run second.
WILL ROGERS, attributed, The Wit and Wisdom of Will Rogers
There is pretty strong characters down there [in Arkansas]. You can't redeem 'em, you just join 'em.
WILL ROGERS, The Wit and Wisdom of Will Rogers
Hawaii is the only place I know where they lay flowers on you while you are alive.
WILL ROGERS, The Wit and Wisdom of Will Rogers
Rail splitting produced an immortal President in Abraham Lincoln; but golf, with 20 thousand courses, hasn't produced even a good, A number-1 Congressman.
WILL ROGERS, Will Rogers' World
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
WILL ROGERS, The Illiterate Digest
Tilt this country on end and everything loose will slide into Los Angeles.
