VALENTINE'S DAY QUOTES III
quotations about Valentine's Day
The funniest place to be on Valentine's Day is the drugstore checkout line at around 7 p.m. The only place you'll see desperation like that is at a casino in Vegas, standing in line for the ATM.
JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy Kimmel Live, February 13, 2017
Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
FERNANDO PESSOA
"Tobacco Shop"
It's been projected that Americans will spend over $13 billion this Valentine's Day. And guys who forget Valentine's Day will spend over $100 billion.
CONAN O'BRIEN
Conan, February 13, 2012
Sure, of all days that ever were dated,
Valentine's Day is the fullest of news;--
Then ev'ry lass expects to be mated
And Cupid goes round collecting his dues!
THOMAS HOOD
"Valentine's Day"
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single, flashing, throbbing moment.
SARAH DESSEN
The Truth About Forever
Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY
Prometheus Unbound
Stay, little Valentine, stay,
Each day is Valentine's day.
LORENZ HART
"My Funny Valentine"
I enjoyed some high school Valentine's Day dances. But there were other times when I stood against the wall, wondering why no one wanted to boogie with me. And as a single young woman, I had years when the holiday meant long-stemmed roses and candlelight dinners and others that saw me playing Solitaire until bedtime.
KATHY IDE
21 Days of Love: Stories That Celebrate Treasured Relationships
Because women are so into relationships, Valentine's Day is one of the most important days of the year for them. We men tend to brush it off because guys don't tend to think about a special "love day." We also tend to forget Christmas and Thanksgiving and her birthday and our anniversary, which is a horrible way to treat God's gift to us. They deserve so much better than a last-minute rush of a shopping trip. We don't mean to forget, we just do.
CHUCK SNYDER
The Way to a Woman's Heart: A Road Map to a Successful Marriage
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then? Ten grand?
JAY LENO
attributed, The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!
JIM KRAUS
The Laugh-a-Day Book of Bloopers, Quotes & Good Clean Jokes
It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids on their windows by January second to rub it in.
JOAN BAUER
Thwonk
Valentine's Day is the worst. It is the most self-sabotaging, cut-your-nose-off-to-spite-your-face holiday we human beings have been stupid enough to come up with. This unmitigated annual disaster is devoted to celebrating, and so putting a microscope to, societal mores about what it means to be in romantic love. (And so also the even-more-fun part, hahaha -- the lonely inverse!)
DAVE BRY
"Valentine's Day expectations are a setup for heartbreak", The Guardian, February 14, 2016
Saint Valentine is past;
Begin these wood-birds but to couple now?
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
A Midsummer Night's Dream
This February 14th I declare V-Day; no, not V for Valentine ... V for Victory over a longstanding holiday that has twisted the hearts and minds of all who have been unfortunate enough to have been brainwashed by its evil pull since first placing store bought cards into tiny shoeboxes in elementary school. V for Victory over greedy swine toying with the emotional well being of the public at large to increase profit margins. But most importantly, V for Victory over longstanding feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness based on an arbitrary date on a calendar.
ALEXANDER KERN
"I Heart the Crotchety Bastard or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Be Indifferent to Valentine's Day", February 14, 2006
When you're in elementary school, Valentine's Day is an obligatory dropping of cheap paper cards into construction-paper boxes in front of everybody's desk. In high school, perhaps an elaborate purchase of helium balloons that you have to carry around awkwardly from math class to first lunch. By the time you reach adulthood, the magic is kinda gone. If you're dating, you get to spend twice as much for the same meal at Intermezzo as you spent there last Saturday, and if you're single, don't even try to get a table; they're booked.
JASON JOHNSON
"Ditch the Doomsayers: Black Love Is Real This Valentine's Day, and Here Are 5 Facts to Prove It", The Root, February 14, 2016
Speaking of prisoners, this should be an interesting Valentine's Day at the White House. For instance, will Donald Trump get flowers from Vladimir Putin? We don't know. And what about his wife Melania? Will they spend the night together or will she remain trapped like Rapunzel at their apartment in New York? Melania has a new line of greeting cards. They carry them at CVS: "Happy Valentine's Day" (open it) "Save Me."
JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy Kimmel Live!, February 8, 2017
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
CHARLES M. SCHULZ
attributed, Quotes To Remember
I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replaced by the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face, I will treasure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you ... and I will love you until the last breath leaves your body or mine.
LAURELL K. HAMILTON
A Lick of Frost
There's a Goodwill store in Sarasota, Florida where they're asking people who have been through a breakup recently to donate their ex's old belongings for Valentine's Day. It's a great idea. They should rename themselves GoodRiddance instead of Goodwill.
JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy Kimmel Live, February 11, 2016